is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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