The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
