I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize