U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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