i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
It's just like the Real World with babies
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
false alarm, still single
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
