I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Randomize