Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
