She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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