what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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