Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
