So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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