Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
