Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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