i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
