that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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