Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
