I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
We need to rekindle our bromance
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
