College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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