she was so not down for the gang bang
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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