I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
