so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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