And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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