Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
