Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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