Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
