The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
