Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
