Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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