Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
