Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
if only i could text you this smell
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
