So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize