Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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