I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Randomize
