I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
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