Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
