Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize