Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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