well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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