After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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