She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
