I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
