we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
