I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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