I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
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