3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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