like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
