sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
