He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
True college students do jello shots in the library
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
