haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
