And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize