Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I cut my penus on the lid.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
