its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
