Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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