Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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