Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
