Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
