i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
