Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize