she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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