why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
