wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
he thought i was a dude.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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