Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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