Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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