i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
