and you said cock pushups were impossible
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
