I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
