I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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