farters have to be the big spoon...
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
