I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
