My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
It's Friday. Sex?
Fuck appropriateness.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
